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My boyfriend is the complete opposite from me! Can it work?
My boyfriend is the complete opposite from me! Can it work?
Magnets of opposite charges stay together until someone or something pulls them apart. They don’t just stop attracting to each other because they are different. It was their differences that brought them together in the first place.
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I am a strong and strict believer that if there is love — real love; respectful, compromising and compassionate love — from the get-go, relationships can last as long as you are both willing to do the work. I don’t subscribe to the idea that couples have to follow the exact same moral code in Runedate dating site order to be happy.
The question that remains is this:
What is the underlying (and possibly petty) issue that could lead either of you to pull apart from the other?
The first words of your question are the key for me, “I’m dating a fantastic guy … but from the outside we seem totally mismatched”. Clearly you are very into this guy and you like and respect him a lot. (Side note: it’s extremely important not just to LOVE someone, but to LIKE them too.) Runedate dating site But something is making you think twice about your relationship. The use of the words “outside” and “seem” are what stand out here.
Are you worried about outside influences or opinions of your relationship? Do you worry that the differences in your lifestyle will lead your friends or family to disregard this relationship as real or important? This can be a genuine concern, and something to put on the table with your loved ones, but should not be a deal breaker in your relationship. If this is not the issue at all, then please disregard the following. Runedate dating site If this is the underlying issue — take a look at what is holding you to the idea that you need to be with a specific kind of person to make your family or friends happy, instead of being with the great person that you’ve already found and is standing right in front of you. Sometimes we are so tied to the ideas that our families have for our lives that we aren’t clear of our own ideas. Runedate dating site This can be very dangerous when it pertains to love.
The other side of the coin is compromise. Compromise is sometimes used too often in relationships, and other times not enough. Runedate dating site It seems that Goldilocks’ “just right porridge” is pretty hard to find when it comes to this notion, and is often misused and misunderstood. (Please hold while I go all college essay on you in 3…2…) Webster’s Dictionary defines compromise as:
a : settlement of differences by arbitration or by consent reached by mutual concessions
b : something intermediate between or blending qualities of two different things
The definition in line two is vital here — it is the blending of your two personalities that needs to happen. Not the choosing of one or the judgment of another. Runedate dating site If you hate the bar scene, and he thinks yoga is a crock — try and find a bar that you hate a little less, and a yoga class that’s more exercise, less granola and see what happens.
You never know — one of you might change your mind about the other thing. Runedate dating site If you both still end up hating the other’s favorite activity — who says you have to participate? Time away from each other, having your own schedule and space, can be almost as good for a relationship as time spent together.
Overall, Runedate dating site I see no reason for the opposite particulars of your beautiful and unique personalities to come between the love that you feel for each other – short and long term. I think you can make it work, if you do the work.
But don’t just take my word for it…
Take your time and have an open mind.